Dealing with LIA
I talk with so many men who struggle with LIA. It is something that is very difficult & very hard to stop once started. It is a set of chains that wraps a man, or even a women, in bondage, to a wall. This wall is dark, embarrassing, private, cold and hated. This wall blocks conversations with others and with God. In Christ, the chains may be broken, but many who struggle with this can’t see that, and Scripture that speaks to that does not help, it’s power is doused by the waters of continual failure.
In the darkness of this dungeon wall there is a voice that whispers pre-LIA that it is okay, or the person needs this. Then afterward, those voices turn to accusation. Whose voice is this?
So how can someone who no longer believes he/she can have freedom in Christ gain victory over this?
- With man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.
- This person has to learn to hate the chains, hate being a slave to them. As long as they accept their position, or are at all fond of this wall, they will not have victory. LIA has to become disgusting to them.
- For most men, their masculinity is wrongly tied to their sexuality- so to despise LIA may mean redefining “masculinity”. A man is a male who practices self-control.
- Self-control is something that USA culture generally teaches is something unnecessary. Look at all the fat people, credit card debt, pills, and pornography.
- People want stuff when they want it. Delayed gratification is psychologically very difficult for many people. To practice restraint, to “wait on the Lord” is very challenging, or nearly impossible for many people. Doing without is not something taught in our culture. Contentment is opposed strongly in a capitalistic market.
- God always provides a way of escape so you can bear through a temptation or hard time (1 Corinthians 10:13). Look for the way through the temptation, then take it.
- Sin is evil, but God doesn’t micromanage you. God wants you to be holy, to be pure, but also knows you are in process. Work on things, but don’t allow yourself to be hopeless & depressed. You are a work in progress & God will be faithful to complete that work.
- The temptation you face, is common (1 Corinthians 10:13), Paul dealt with temptation & failure as a believer, you will also (Romans 7).
- I am not convinced that accountability works, but someone to help you form good boundaries does.
- You need to form good boundaries, even if it means “radical amputation” to help you (Matthew 5:27-30). Most people like the sin too much to actually do this. Do you?
- You have 3 helpers, that are very helpful and have helped many. Jesus, who understands and died for your sins. The Father, who is patient with you. The Spirit, who indwells the believer and gives wisdom through the mind, and through the Bible (why we memorize verses- so God can bring them to mind). Even a 4th helper. Me. If you need help, and brainstorming, let me know. Not all people have this relationship with God. The Bible teaches that you have this relationship through trusting in Jesus (John 14:5-6; John 15) as Lord and the one who saves you. Do you receive Him as your savior and lord?
- Trust God’s word, that what He says He will actually do...this is called faith. Then act on that. You can do it!
- One word, "dopamine". Not proven, but like cocaine, people can find themselves craving this chemical. Not saying that this gives you any excuse, but it is something to look into more. Also, I know this is not popular with some of my friends, but to that I say, consider the implications of "radical amputation" and maybe this is an avenue to at least look into.